AJ O'Leary

about • portfolio • essays • reviews • contact

Movie Review: “Uncut Gems” (2019)

This is how a 2.5-hour long panic attack on film wins

Minor spoilers follow.

From the moment I was aware of Uncut Gems’ existence, I knew I had to see it. Adam Sandler in a serious role! Kevin Garnett! A24 distributing! A score by a vaporwave guy I was obsessed with in 2013! The ingredients were all there for a film that would either be sublime or a trainwreck, but one thing was for certain: I just had to witness it because it existed. (I get like this with these types of films.)

Now that I’ve taken it in, my prevailing thought is:

Jesus Christ.

The end-to-end speeding truck that is Uncut Gems opens with a psychedelic, body horror-y sequence that traces the discovery of a rare gem with ethereal aesthetics through to the colonoscopy of one Howard Ratner (Sandler). This colonoscopy proves to be the least of Mr. Ratner’s concerns, as the jeweler working in New York City’s Diamond District proceeds to make a series of terrible decisions that would compel me to call him a pitiable figure if he wasn’t such an irredeemable asshole.

Despite the film’s title, this isn’t even really a movie about gems. Diamonds and watches and blinged-out Furby chains and Martian moon-shaped pieces viewed as good luck charms by basketball greats figure prominently in the story that unfolds, but they’re really no more than totems to illustrate Howard’s descent into chaos. Women, cars, celebrity acquaintances, ridiculous sports bets — all of these are transactional decorations for a man so consumed by his own ego that he’s become a passenger in his own life’s ride.

Through numerous interactions, most of them shouted (it would almost be mumblecore if it wasn’t, well, shouted), we learn about what is driving Howard to ruin. He has a wife (Idina Menzel) and children, but they’ve grown tired of his shtick, which includes a mistress (Julia Fox). He owes a lot of money to a lot of people. Kevin Garnett, of course, decides the ‘uncut gem’ sourced from Ethiopia will bring him good fortune in the NBA playoffs and absconds with it. The Weeknd and Howard’s mistress have sex in a bathroom, for some reason. It all builds up to a bitter end that seems ripped from a depressing Billy Joel song, if Billy Joel were 35 years old in 2019 and obsessed with VICE documentaries from earlier in the decade.

Sound like a mess? It was, in all the ways that a tale of greed and carelessness creating one’s undoing should be. My girlfriend and I shared several laughs with the rest of the theater, some because we couldn’t quite believe Happy Gilmore himself was screaming about a door not opening for what felt like an eternity and some because we weren’t quite sure how to feel and our brains processed it as laughter.

Through it all, though, Adam Sandler shone in a role that could easily segue him into loftier, more prestigious territory if he wanted. Julia Fox, in her big-screen debut, gave a stunning performance as an emotionally-torn young woman in Howard’s life held hostage by his numerous vices and liabilities. Kevin Garnett’s supporting actor turn demands placement with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and LeBron James on the list of famous athletes who can truly act. Idina Menzel is eminently believable as an exasperated housewife distraught over how many years she wasted on a dishonest man. Daniel Lopatin’s score set the tempo perfectly, like James Ferraro space-jazz with a shot of neon-soaked terror you’d find in a film like Enter the Void. The Dance Dance Revolution-esque bop played over the credits works when it shouldn’t. The Safdie brothers, as directors, now have my undivided attention with their masterful pacing and unsparing eye for detail.

I’ve long thought that one indicator of a film’s greatness is whether it sticks with you after viewing. By that measure, Uncut Gems is a shimmering diamond of American indie filmmaking. Time will tell how vivid its 2.5-hour suspense-fest’s images linger in my mind’s eye 6 months or years from now, but as I craft this review, I can’t stop thinking about it and telling everyone I know to experience it.

I can’t get that damn credits song out of my head, either.

Best American film I saw from the 2019 release calendar (sorry, Ford v. Ferrari and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) and an unforgivable Oscar snub.

Overall Score: 5 / 5

If you liked this review, let me know.

Click here to view my other reviews.